Advanced Atonements
by Soaringphoenix7484
Summary: After a near-death experience, Ryan is coping with that event. He gets a glimpse of what will occur a month into the future. Can he also help a fellow colleague out before he makes a bad choice? Spoilers from Burned and Bang Bang Your Debt
1. Chapter 1

Ryan and Natalia are walking to her car. She insists on taking Ryan home seeing as how he's had a traumatic day. Once there, Natalia puts her stuff down while Ryan puts his away. Ryan wanted to watch with Natalia the recorded sentiments the team had made earlier that day so he could mentally process and then move on from the day's ordeal. So Natalia and Ryan sat down on the couch and played the footage.

As they saw Horatio's sentiments, Ryan internalized everything that was said, silently promising to confide without the fear of harsh judgment.

Then with Eric, Ryan pauses it and says to Natalia that he didn't know about the situation between Eric and Marisol. He also mentioned feeling bad about giving Eric a hard time about "Delko time." Ryan made a mental note to apologize to Eric the next day about telling Stetler about seeing rolling papers in Eric's kit.

Next comes Calleigh and when she gets to talking about Ryan's first case, he explains how he got hired quickly and how he acquitted Calleigh's father of killing a man at a construction site.

When it's up to Natalia's sentiments, she begins to blush in embarrassment anxiously awaiting Ryan's verdict. He is touched by everything that she said. He said "Natalia, I'm sorry for being critical and doubting your skills, I just wanted you to do well and you have surpassed my expectations. I froze in a take-down by not getting the shot and had to answer to Stetler. You, however, were alone, but with Tripp nearby and shot a defiant suspect your first time even though it was hard learning to shoot. I am proud of you on so many levels. I still want to go out with you, Natalia. You're right I should've thought more about what you went through with your ex-husband and how he treated you. You of all people didn't deserve that." Then Natalia said "No, I don't deserve your devotion, because I used you. I'm so sorry! I was tired of Eric not having any plans and his lack of commitment. I was in spite of all that secretly hoping you'd ask me out and was so happy when you did. I was speaking for myself earlier when I said 'We all love you.' The truth is, I love you, Ryan." Then she planted a kiss on his lips and he responds. They pulled apart and sat back down with their arms around each other.

Maxine Valera says her sentiments, followed by Dan Cooper. While watching, at first, Ryan is slightly angry, but mentally forgives Dan when he says that Ryan is his friend. Ryan makes note to also apologize to Dan and forgive him.

As they watch Alexx's sentiments, Ryan tells Natalia what he knew about the late Tim Speedle based on everyone's descriptions. He also mentions how everyone responded to him when he started out. Ryan also told Natalia about how Alexx stayed with him as the nail was taken out. Natalia told Ryan how Alexx ran out of the building really fast when she heard he was injured. Then when got to the wariness of the mole comment, she apologized again about being planted by the Feds as a mole to report back to them. Ryan reassured her that it was in the past and that she shouldn't think another minute about it. When the events of that morning were mentioned, Natalia wept and she did so even harder as she saw Alexx pick up his lifeless form into a maternal embrace. It sent a river of tears down her face. Then the sentiments were done.


	2. Precognitive Dream & Reassurances

Natalia finally composed herself after a few minutes and asked Ryan "What did you experience as you awoke?" Then Ryan answered "I could hear a loud silence and then I moved my left hand squeezing hard because someone was holding it. I moved my right hand followed by both feet. I opened my eyes, sat up, and saw Alexx. The events leading up to my trance came rushing back to me. I felt like I just awoke from the dead. Then Alexx and I shared an embrace. She tells me what happened while I was in my temporary death trance." He tells her what he was told happened. Then Natalia tells Ryan "Well, earlier, after I did my recording, I was also a pin-cushion because I found out from Maxine that Eric set down a pick-axe onto the glass table and it had cracked slightly. The centrifuge must have finished the job because the table crashed around and on me. Alexx had to take blood from me to make sure I wasn't exposed to anything potentially harmful. I'll know the results next week." Ryan reassures her saying "you'll be fine and results will come back negative for any toxic substance like it did for me."

They both lay down on the couch. Natalia sat up with Ryan's head in her lap as he processed the events of the day. He then says "If I was given even the slightest amount more of the blowfish poison, I would've stayed dead!" Ryan says bordering on hysterics. Then Natalia says "But you didn't stay dead, you awoke. You'll be fine. You're going to get through this; I'll be here to help you and so will the team. It's alright, just rest, I'm right here." Ryan calms down as she strokes his hair and holds his hand. A few minutes later, he's asleep. Natalia gets up and covers him with a blanket. And since she's staying over, gets ready for bed.

As Natalia gets ready for bed, Ryan dreams that _all his colleagues are at his funeral being that he didn't awake and died. Natalia is there hysterically sobbing with a constant stream of tears flowing down her face. His dead self in the coffin also has tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. Then the dream shifts and it's a month into the future. The suspect in the arson case, Michael Lipton, from his gambling past whom he owes ten-thousand to is trying to blackmail him. Then they are outside somewhere and Horatio's sister-in-law/Private Investigator is following his blackmailer foe around and tapes him paying off Lipton after gambling on the clock. Then the dream goes to where Horatio finds out demanding to know why and the month-into-the-future-Ryan doesn't tell his boss the situation. Finally the dream goes to where Rick Stetler won't let his future self onto the floor, firing him demanding his badge and gun._

Present day Ryan wakes up scared and frantic telling the now ready-for-bed-Natalia that he has to call Horatio and Alexx. First he calls Horatio telling him that he needs to talk to him first thing the next day. Then Ryan calls Alexx confiding to her and to Natalia, who is in the room, the situation of his past; which he'll divulge completely to H to figure out a plan to prevent ever being fired. After the calls, Natalia immediately agrees to accompany him, having the next day off as well. They both go to bed and Ryan gets ready for bed and is apprehensive about the next day despite Natalia's reassurances. He says "I'm really worried about what might happen tomorrow. What if because of my past I lose my job?!" "Ryan, don't worry, everything will work out! Remember when Eric popped positive for marijuana, but it was only passive? He hadn't even taken any. And you haven't gambled since. You aren't about to now, that was your past."

They sleep together in his bed, sleeping only. He has a hard time getting to sleep until Natalia rubs his back. After ten minutes, he's asleep. Ryan turns over in his sleep and Natalia notices how different he looks from earlier in the day. He looked dead and now he looks alive and even more handsome than ever before to her. She is unlike earlier when he lay completely still, relieved to see his chest rise and fall as he sleeps. Enamored by his presence and beauty, to make for certain, Natalia places two of her fingers onto Ryan's wrist feeling for a pulse and feels it strongly thumping beneath her fingers. She can't resist and gently pecks him on the lips. Then exhaustion hits and she cuddles up to him asleep within five minutes.


	3. Confessions, Relief, & Relaxation

Natalia's alarm goes off at 6:00, she wakes up to get ready. Then at 7:00 Ryan's alarm goes off, he does the same. They are out the door at 7:30 and Natalia drives because she drove him home the night before. On the way to the Crime Lab, Ryan is quiet and tense. She just keeps telling him that everything will work out and that in a month's time he won't end up getting fired. Then she tells him "I'll be right there with you giving you moral support all the way as will Alexx." They arrive at 7:45 and Natalia parks. They are supposed to be there by 8:00 and are fifteen minutes early.

As they sit parked, Ryan's state of anxiety becomes unbearable. His heart rate and blood pressure increase as well. He feels light-headed, with tightness in his chest, nauseated, and is engulfed by an internal blast of heat. He is having a panic attack. Natalia is trying to reassure him that he'll okay. Then a minute later came the chills. He is struggling to compose himself and she asks Ryan "have you ever had a panic attack before?" Then he responds whilst trying to calm down as she rubs his back "no, not until now, what is it?" She explains what it is and at first he denies he's having one, but then accepts it. Natalia knows about panic attacks all too well having them after her violent ex-husband was arrested for abusing her. She attributes her as of the night before, boyfriend's panic attack to the stress of the previous day, the precognitive dreams, and his OCD. For the next twelve minutes, Ryan begins to calm down and try to relax while Natalia helps him through it. She puts her arm around him, enveloping him in a passionately comforting embrace. They exchange a kiss and get out of the car. Once they reach the entrance of the building, Alexx meets them and discretely asks what happened and Natalia tells her that Ryan had a panic attack. Alexx then puts her arm around him briefly for comfort as they go through the doors and then drops it knowing that he's going to be fine and is composed.

The three of them make their way to Horatio's office so Ryan can tell him about his gambling past. Once there, they get right down to business and Ryan talks about how he use to play the Death Pool, in college bet on horse races, and ending up having to pay Michael Lipton (suspected arsonist in Burned) ten grand. Then Horatio says "I believe you, Ryan. So tell me about the dream you had." "Well the second part of the dream consisted of Frank telling me that Lipton asked for me. I told Frank that I could handle it. Lipton said that if I paid him my debt, he would leave me alone. Formerly Detective Salas, now Private Investigator was tailing him and taped me paying him having gambled on the clock. Then you question me on what happened and I don't divulge to you what's going on. In the least amount of words you imply that we're done and I'm finished here. The worst is when Rick doesn't let me on the floor. I try to tell him that I don't expect him of all people to understand that I did it to protect everyone and not have him interfere with the case. He fires me demanding my gun and badge. That's when I awoke in a panic. I'm afraid it's going to happen, H! Please help me!" Ryan is now hysterical on the verge of another panic attack. Alexx and Natalia are right next to him holding his hands as his heart is racing. Then Horatio assures him saying "That is not going to happen. You have to trust me. Tomorrow, seeing as it's my day off, I'll accompany you to a nearby casino where you can gamble enough to amount to 10,000. You'll hand it off to me where I'll keep it in a safe until this guy comes around. On the day in question, you'll be informed of his location, will take the day off, and pay him your debt. If anything should come up with IAB, and your character is being questioned, it won't be on you; I'll handle it." "Thank you, Horatio!" "Ryan, I am so proud of you for coming to me with this and your honesty, you took what I said seriously. You're going to be here a long time. I'll see you tomorrow, same time as I will you, Ms. Boa Vista. Now go enjoy the rest of your day off, you two!" With that they leave and Alexx goes downstairs to do autopsies. Horatio waits for the rest of the team in his office to talk briefly about the preventative measure plan.

Then Natalia tells Ryan "See, I told you everything would work out." "Yeah, but can you blame me for doubting, I dreamed it was real and was experiencing psychological pain from it. Now I've got to talk to Eric and Dan. So they both walk to where the A.V. lab and where Eric mostly resides. They wait and fifteen minutes later, Eric appears and Natalia goes to wait outside.

Ryan starts off and says "Hey, Eric, you got a minute?" "Yeah, you bet." "I'm sorry for thinking you could come and go as you pleased. And for mentioning to Stetler the rolling papers. I didn't understand your situation." "That's alright, I forgive you. Stetler is ruthless and will try to discredit anyone associated with Horatio because he didn't make lieutenant." "See you in a couple days, Delko." "Take care, Wolfe."

Then they go to A.V. while Natalia once again waits outside. "Hey Cooper, you got a sec?" "Yeah, man." "I'm sorry for attempting to beat the crap out of you especially with the Feds present. You didn't intentionally tell the Feds about my eye. We were all paranoid and wary about the mole situation." "You heard what I said and I hope we're still cool, Ryan." "We are, Dan, I forgive you." "Thanks, man, see ya."

Ryan and Natalia walk out together to hang out in relief. For the next two days they will chill, except for the first half of the next day.

They both went out for brunch and hung out for two hours fully enjoying themselves at a nearby outdoor café. It was a great release for the pent up nerves Ryan had that morning. All tension was released in them telling funny stories about their lives and good memories. After that they went back to the Crime Lab to get their cars. Natalia had to go to her place to get a few things and then go to Ryan's. Ryan was going to his place to rest while waiting for her.

Once Ryan got home, he changed into shorts and a sea blue T-shirt. He got comfortable on top of his bed and laid down drifting off within minutes.

Natalia arrived an hour later and let herself in with a key he gave her that morning on the way out. She came in quietly knowing that he was resting. It wouldn't have made a difference since he sleeps so deeply. She set her stuff down and went into his bedroom. Upon coming in she saw her Ryan resting peacefully. She sat on his bed and admired his handsome form. She thought it was better to see him alive asleep with his chest moving up and down with every breath he took instead of lifeless and still with no movement. Natalia was thinking of yesterday again when he temporarily appeared to be dead and slightly teared up. She quickly wiped it away and kissed him on the head whilst gently stroking his hair. He leaned into her touch but didn't stir. She let him rest a few minutes more. Ryan finally stirred when she grasped his hand and said "Hey there, sleepyhead, make room so I can rest with you." He moved so she could lay down with him. He lay on his back and she cuddled up next to him with her ear to the left of his chest. He gave her an inquisitive look and Natalia said "I was worried for you yesterday and while I can see you're alright, I want physical audible _evidence_ if you will that you are alright." "I can tell, because you seem kind of sad and I completely understand." "Do you also understand that I love you?" She sat up and wrapped her arms around him in a passionate embrace followed by a long kiss. Then he replies "You also understand that I love you too, right?" Then he repeats the same thing, but with more passion. They lay down and Natalia drifted off hearing his heart beat in a lulling rhythm.

An hour later they both awoke. Then they hung out at the beach swimming in the surf until early evening with a darker amount of pigment in their skin. Ryan didn't burn; all he did was tan naturally since childhood. As for Natalia, she has been tan all her life not needing the sun to do so. They went back to Ryan's place and cleaned up for dinner. After eating out at a Mexican restaurant they went home and watched movies watching an action-packed guy flick, followed by a chick-flick. Once they were tired, they got ready for bed and hit the sack. Ryan was once again apprehensive in anticipation of the next day, but got to sleep quicker knowing that everything would come out alright.


End file.
